Why would Santa quit making toys and start mining bitcoin?

He was just fed up with all the spoiled kids, ... no, it's just that all the kids are asking for Bitcoin now!	17	6%
No one believes in him anymore, so he decided to cash out, ... forget the Almighty Dollar, Bitcoin is the new god!	15	6%
He now has VC investors, and they decided giving away toys was not profitable enough, ... Santa got their name from Patreon.	38	15%
The North Pole is perfect for running server farms because the cold air keeps them cool!, ... not for much longer! *sob*	76	31%
Santa needed something for the elves to do, since he farmed out his toy production to Alibaba, ... the 40 thieves part is what they charge for shipping!	58	23%
I'm mining the results.	41	16%

May not add up to exactly 100% due to rounding, and the (global warming renamed) rain deer.

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