My DNA that's on the phone doesn't recognize me any more, ... it's evolving and it might be a silicon lifeform now!	10	4%
The OS and model are single digits, ... iOS 9 is fine?	32	14%
To find the model number, the Genius had to use carbon dating, ... the body's from the Bronze Age?	7	3%
It's not how old your phone is, it's how old your case is!, ... can't they make cases that make your old phone look like a new one?	93	40%
I'm dialing up the results!	86	37%

May not add up to exactly 100% due to rounding, and one ringy dingy.

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